Violence is not the answer

Tonight Kaitlin took it upon herself to get dressed up in her Belle gown before dinner. It's nice now that she has so much autonomy that she can do things on her own, but also can cause some problems. In this instance, we were having red jello with dinner so I told her it would be best if she took off her dress so as to not ruin it. She was ok with this, but she didn't want to put on the dress she had been wearing earlier, claiming it was wet from playing in the rain. I asked her to bring it to me and it was barely even wet, so I told her she had to put it back on. She sat there for a good full minute, just looking at me. I could tell she was mad, but neither she nor I knew the next step. She then, very calmly goes, "I'm going to take my food and throw it on the floor." She was rightly assuming the fact she had to put that dress back on was because she needed to be dressed for dinner, and that made her mad I guess. I said "Ohh, I don't think that's a good choice now, do you?" Another minute passes as she stares at me. She goes "I'm going to take my plate and throw it down on the ground and smash it." At this point I was barely containing my smile. I mean come on, is she being serious here? What a WEIRDO. So I said "Oops, probably not a good choice either, those 2 things will probably get you a time out and possibly a spanking. Are you mad right now Kaitlin?" "Yes, I'm mad and I don't want to wear my rainbow dress." I said, "It's ok to be mad, but if you don't wear your dress, you will have to stay in here and not eat your red jello then." Another calm 30 seconds and then not another word as she allowed me to put her dress back on her. While this may sound very violent to some, I really think we've come light years from when she might have actually done those things (in the moment of course) instead of just playing them out in her head and verbalizing them. Sometimes I wish I could be almost 3 again and calmly tell people "No, I will not do what you ask, I will punch you in the face instead." And just for grins, here's a pic when we had the first clue of the road we were on with this little firecracker: