Mixed Emotions

It keeps hitting me, every couple days, how our lives are going to change so much when this baby gets here. Don't get me wrong, I am super excited and thankful that we are pregnant again, one of the many blessings we have in our life. But I'm concerned with how it is going to change the dynamic of our family. I've been reading this book about the Terrible Twos, and it talks about how the ideal spacing is 3.5 years for the "proper development" of the firstborn (whatever that means). So that of course has me thinking about how Kaitlin's life is going to be upended by this. I love how we can focus only on her right now and just drink in every second of watching her grow into her own little person. I love how she feels so safe and confident, and how whenever she wants a hug I am available to give her as much loving as she wants. But I also keep in the back of my mind a running countdown, that we only have 109 (or so) more days of this. And that time goes by so quickly. I talked to a friend the other day who has 3 girls, spaced 15 and 18 months apart. I was telling her of the sadness I have for Kaitlin to be losing that spotlight, and she was saying that yes it's hard, but within a few months they forget that they were ever an only child and that it becomes just as natural that there are 2. But that didn't make me feel much better. I am so excited to have 2 siblings so close in age, and I know in the long run it will be for the best, but I'm scared and sad for those first few months, when K won't understand why Mommy can't always hold her. I guess the only thing I can do is savor this little girl for the next few months and hold on for the next phase of our Keith family life.